A little more than five years ago, Matt Farley, a musician then based in New Hampshire, told us: "I think if you force yourself to write music every day, you only get better. That’s my theory."
The occasion of that quote was the launch of a year-long project conceived of by Farley and bandmate Tom Scalzo, in the experimental-pop duo Moes Haven. Each day of 2006, the pair wrote, performed, and recorded a 30-minute album, titled for the day it was made. They released highlights by the month, with albums creatively named January, February, and so on.
What they judged to be the year's best songs were put out by Farley's own label, Motern Media, as Victory Is Ours (For Now).
But that wasn't enough for the always all-in Farley, who celebrated the completion of the entire project by listening to every single song from 2006 in order, continuously (even while sleeping), without leaving his apartment.
It's been a while since we at the Phoenix have heard from Farley, and so we were gratified last week to learn that he hadn't forgotten about us. In the mail, we received an album whose cover image and track listing is pictured below. Billed as a "greatest hits" album by the Toilet Bowl Cleaners (we're pretty sure that's just Farley, and that he hasn't put out any albums as that "group" before), Greatest Poop, Puke, and Pee Songs! is a scatological delight, complete with catchy hooks of nasty words.
Best listened to with your resident eight-year-old (who will have to be excused from the rule against potty-mouth for at least a week thereafter), this is a fiesta of mediocrity. I'd actually generally say it's really bad, since the words and singing are so awful. But the music isn't as terrible as you might expect. Which is not to say that you should listen to it.
Doubt me? Search for the disc on iTunes and just listen to the previews of the tracks. That's as good as it gets, and it saves you the dough.
It's pretty clear that, at least for Farley, his theory is disproved. If he's been writing songs non-stop for five years, then this is as good as he gets. It's time for him to let the last drops of his music career drip from between his buttocks and flow into the sewer where they belong. (Sorry, Matt - I really wanted to like it. But it's awful. Take heart - it's noteworthily awful!)