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Q&A #4: Council Cage Match

"O.P.P." asks an intriguing question:

As redistricting enters Round 3, which City Councilor would win in a Royal Rumble-style brawl to get the map they want? Extra points for rankings based on scrappiness, ruthlessness, and willingness to use a metal chair.

This is tough -- there's some scrappers on the council. I wouldn't want to try to mug any of them.

OK, I'm gonna say that Yancey and Linehan, tough as they are, may be a little too far past their prime to compete with this group.

Mike Ross is in good shape, but he's a little too pretty -- he's not gonna last long when noses start breaking.

And, while I hate to say it, I think Big Man Murphy -- now a settled-down husband and respected council president -- just doesn't have the no-holds-barred ruthlessness in him these days.

Then I think Mark Ciommo, Sal LaMattina, Matt O'Malley, and Rob Consalvo are next out, in that order. But I think they'd all put up a good fight before they go.

Ayanna Pressley makes it a long way -- not because the guys are afraid to whack the girl, but because she'd have a shoe in each hand, slicing them up with her heels. But eventually she's just at too much of a weight disadvantage.

So that gets us to a final four of Felix Arroyo, John Connolly, Frank Baker, and Tito Jackson.

I think the kids have made Connolly a little soft, so he's out next. And I know I've underestimated Arroyo before, but I will risk doing it again by saying he's next to go.

So it's tough little Frank "Baby-Face" Baker, who I think has been in a Dorchester brawl or two in his time, against Tito "The Titan" Jackson, product of the mean streets of Grove Hall.

My money's on Tito.

What do you all think?

 

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