Q&A 3: Scalia's Hat

"Jesse" asks:

What was that yarmulke-type thing that Scalia was wearing at the inauguration?

I'm glad you asked: it is evidence of Scalia's limited intelligence.

I was born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona; when I came to Boston it took me approximately one frickin' cold day to figure out that you need to own one hat that can cover your ears, for days when you'll be stuck outside in this kind of ridiculous, why-do-I-live-here weather.

A man has three acceptable options in that situation. 1) Wear a warm hat no matter how ridiculous it makes you look. 2) Wear a less-warm but very stylish hat that makes you look really cool. (Note: this option is not realistically available to most of us.) 3) Wear no hat because you are a real man -- a stupid man, but a real man. Scalia chose a fourth option -- a hat that makes him look ridiculous and doesn't keep him warm.

As you can see, Justices Souter, Thomas and Roberts are real men, Justices Kennedy and Stevens are warm men, and Justice Ginsburg is the clear winner.

Thank you for the question!

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