Fighting!

Death threats!

Beefed-up security!

FBI protection!

Boy, a trip to the Trop sure ain’t what it used to be!

But this is why baseball is so much fun. No, not the lurking danger of creepy racist psychopaths; we got knocked out of first place yesterday. And the only way to crawl our way back up there is to go mano-a-mano with a divisional rival that, for most of its existence, has been abysmally bad.

Well, now they’re good. But we’ve got to make sure they don’t get too good. And there’s a better than average chance things could get rough out there as we undertake the task.

Good thing we’ve got our enforcer, Manhandlin’ Manny Ramirez ready to step in and throw some guys around if it should come to that.

In the mean time, all joking aside, let’s hope this is nowhere near as serious as it potentially could be. Yikes.