Hugh Grant wrongly arrested, again

POW! In your face, evil paparazzo bully!

Hugh Grant is bloody genius. I love this guy… I really, really do. He’s gone and allegedly thrown a tub of baked beans at a nasty photog, as if Divine Brown wasn’t fun enough. The real sequence of events is here. 

BUT... below is how one might imagine it took place on Hugh’s tidy doorstep:

HUGH: POW! In your face, you rotten paparazzo!  

Hugh puffs his girlish chest and hurls the plastic tub of beans into the air. QUICK! He ducks into his flat. He’s playing a cute game of peek-a-boo, now.

PAPARAZZO: Is it a rock? Is it a brick? Run for cover! It’s a motherfucking tub of beans!

BEANS: Splat.

Hugh gingerly peeps out the door.

HUGH:  Oh, ballocks. I hit the ground.

PAPARAZZO: HA HA HA! Hugh throws like a girl... and, I got it on film,  biiitches!

BEANS: Ooz.

HUGH: Oh bugger. I suppose I’d better run out and give him a little kick in the arse!

Hugh hops from his doorstep with gusto. He gives a mighty kick to the air.

HUGH: I'm saving bloody face now, you wanker!

PAPARAZZO: HA HA HA! What’s he kicking at?

HUGH: I’m kicking at your butt, see!

PAPRAZZO: Would you look at this?

BEANS: Who’s going to eat me now? Tear.