I'm Not From Rolling Stone

But do you know who is?

These hot-ass jerks:

Except the dude in the middle. That's their dad.

JK all the way! Actually, no, it's Jann Wenner, and he's clearly one hip and happening fella to allow the six trend-setting quota-fillers behind him into the venerable Rolling Stone offices. Where he routinely has desk inspections. These guys and gals are probably exempt from that cause they're really pretty. What fun!

So this is MTV's latest push for cracking a new angle in the reality TV market. Where Miss Seventeen failed (Atoosa Rubenstein is a genius EIC, though not very lovable on-camera -- what a meany mouth!), Wenner hopes to win big and score happy good publicity with I'm From Rolling Stone. These kids are competing for a gonzo internship at this shining beacon of a music magazine, and by golly, they'll fight for it! They'll battle the crowds at SXSW for a scoop! They'll dig for the story, and then they'll crush hipster skulls and eat them! They'll quaintly sing along to Elton John on a bus, just like in Almost Famous, and they'll fucking enjoy it! They'll tell you to stop playing Talking Heads and turn on something so much better and more palatable, like Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! There may be real tears. There may even be a combination of unintentional irony with a dash of stupidity. And I, like many music fans and writer-types, will be laughing at all of it, and also, obviously, inevitably, micro-managing a fine-tuned set of jealousy issues.

Until the first ep airs on Jan 5, I've been occupying myself with Idolator's coverage, not to mention the bitchin' cast Q&As helpfully provided by RS. Here's a smidgen of hate for you to chew on, brought to you by Krystal Simpson (a/k/a hot blonde kate moss-ish hippie). Sickening narcissism tastes so good:

What got you interested in writing?
Very early on, teachers told me I had a talent for it and I always really enjoyed doing it. I never really thought that it would be my career, but I was always writing. When I was still in college I started writing a column for the local newspaper. I submitted my résumé and they thought I had graduated college and was already done with everything, and I was like, “Well, no . . . .” But they still wanted me to do it.

Here is pleasant response to Krystal's Q&A on the comment fucktard board:

ur favorite poet | 12/16/2006, 2:48 pm EST

hey sexy bitch! the way you look has nothing to do with the quality of your writing. I know since cuz I edit two magazines and get tons of syrupy grandmother’s slippers poems/narratives. Your writing will be what people remember. Not your hot sense of style. Let’s go shopping monday!
love you!! maria tabor

Get ready for some serious, quality programming. And probably the only thing that will steal viewers away from Friday night Degrassi reruns on the N. Oh, MTV, you sick, sick, twisted, amazing conglomerate. I fucking love you. I really do.

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