Bah Weep Granah Weep Ninnie Bong, Asshats!
The Info Burrito in 101.7 Seconds
Drive Thru Etiquette Rule #3 – Have your money out when you get to the window, nothing larger than a $20 bill, please…Rivers Cuomo of Weezer stood up for the first time since the accident yesterday, but did need a walker to get around…It’s a boy for Tom Terrific and Giselle, and the name of this one can’t also be ‘Unwanted Bastard’… President Obama gets the Nobel Peace Prize today, with Greenpeace saying ‘You won it, now earn it!’…Entertainment Weekly announced its top TV of the decade, with “The Sopranos,” “Lost,” and “The Daily Show” as the Top Three…The Sox are close to sending Mike Lowell to the Rangers in exchange for minor league catcher Max Ramirez…The MBTA has hired a private company to examine its equipment and safety needs… Happy pasty 35th Birthday to Meg White…Dashboard Confessional and New Found Glory are at The Middle East tonight…Marquis Daniels will miss up to eight weeks due to surgery on his thumb…Get your culture on, as studies show that attendance at art museums and theatres is way down…South End Holiday Night Out is tonight from 4-8pm, where retailers offer 20% off! What a deal, brotha! And get ready to heckle Kessel tonight, as the Leafs take on the Bruins at the Gahh-din.
Are You Better Than The Sandbox?
Win tickets to the annual Hometown Throwdown hosted by Boston's best, the Mighty Mighty Bosstones! All you have to do is do an 'up,' an intro to a song, better than Ed does...big challenge there. Congrats to Paul of Charlestown for giving an up that managed to give a Juggalo 'woot woot' and a rip on Sandbox Lackey Kevin Begley!
“Ahh-malie” or “Ay-malie,” whatever you want to call her, is on the phone to talk Sox, kid. Mikey Lowell may be out of here, as there is a preliminary deal that has been reached with the Texas Rangers, sending 25-year-old Max Ramirez up here. But is he worth it, Amalie?
Are you there, Amalie?
Apparently the one cell phone tower in Indianapolis has fallen over and the guys have lost Amalie. That’s okay, that means Ed gets to do his whole half-assed ‘sports report.’ Get Lowell out of here, he’s old. Go to the Garden and make fun of Phil Kessel and the Toronto Maple Leafs tonight. Hang out with Ed before the game at Greatest Bar. That's what we got, folks.
Maura Talks Music
There's a whole bunch of lists going on this time of the year, with 'Best of' and stuff, but Fletcher wants to know who the best-seller of the past decade. Believe it or not, it's Marshall Mathers himself, Eminem. The Marshall Mathers LP sold over 10 million copies, and The Eminem Show sold damn near that. The guys find this interesting, due to the fact that in the first half of the decade people actually bought CD's, and now the marketplace is almost entirely digital. Maura says the top seller of the second half was "Low" by Flo-Rida. The entire Sandbox thought that Cracker's hit had found more success about 15 years later.
People really don't want to hear the filler, so the transition to the single-only business has dominated the market. Fletcher says, though, that bands like Nickelback and Kid Rock are the only ones that still sell millions of CD's because they don't have the internet in Topeka, Kansas - so everyone just goes to Wal-Mart to buy the whole album. It's true! And Kid Rock really is an Rock and Roll Jesus!
How about Billy Corgan and Jessica Simpson? Is this for real? Even Maura is stumped, this one is just too bizarre. Charlie says that the real question here is that which one has lost their mind: Corgan or Simpson? Who the hell knows.
Rivers is feeling better, and Maura couldn't be happier! He's a big fan of her writing, and the guys can see her twirling her hair through the phone!
The Mega Robo Thunder Phone Query
How have you been shut down? It happens every once in awhile…you start making out, you get a little frisky, and then…you get shut down! How have you gotten shut down? Charlie admits that he is the shutter-downer, as he, as a dad, claims that the testosterone goes elsewhere after becoming a father and he is just tired and lazy all the time. Fletcher claims to be the shutter downer, since he wants to be in bed by 11 on a weeknight. Ed claims he is a whiner, and to tell a time when he has been shut down. Fletcher says he has never been shut down, just look at his dimples! (My stomach turns yet again...)
One caller Amir goes for the older women, and hates getting shut down. He was talking to a 28-year-old gal and some big ol' Guido came over and said he was her boyfriend. Fletcher wants to hook him up with a cougar, and promises to deliver. A lot of listeners say they are in fact the shutter-downers, since after working all week they just want to smoke a joint and go to bed. Who doesn't?
How about that old excuse of 'that time of the month?' Don't lead the fellas on, ladies, as most dudes aren't cool with just making out for an hour. Ed says that he's going to smash the fan at Charlie's house that his wife turns on to shut him down. The overall consensus is, however, that dudes are the shutter-downers! I neva get shut down, kid!
The 2009 Asshat of the Year Nominees
The Phoenix's Chris Faraone visits the Sandbox to chime in on the 2009 AHotY Nominations! First up: Jeff Dunham. He has the highest rated show in Comedy Central's history, and he does so by telling sub-Blue Collar Comedy Tour-style jokes with puppets. Absolutely dreadful. Ed comes to his defense, saying he loves those prop-using comics. Faraone says that Carrot Top is now cool again, just because of how awful Dunham is. Looks like you're alone, Ed.
Callers have a few Asshat nominations of their own, with Tiger Woods, Deval Patrick, the Heene family (the Balloon Boy!) and Lady Gaga all made the list of nods from the callers. It all stopped when one IMer mentioned Barack Obama. Sure, these boys are so far left that they're spinning counter-clockwise, but that's the line for the Sandbox. Charlie says you can't deny that odd start-stop speech pattern.
My Song Is Better Than Your Song - Week 108
Landry talks a big game, so can he extend his winning streak to five weeks? Is there anyway that anybody can take down the man that runs Newbury-effing-Comics? It's up to the callers to decide. Let your vote be heard!
Challenger: Mike Dreese of Newbury Comics - The Smiths "Girlfriend In A Coma"
Champion: Sandboxer Jon Landry - The Arcade Fire "Headlights Look Like Diamonds"
Landry brought his clever and pithy bits, and Mike Dreese brought his music industry muscle...only to be taken down by Landry! Jon used to work for Mike and Newbury's back in the day, but it looks like Landry and his IT posse took down the big gun behind the toothy face. Onward to Week 109, the final 'MSIBTYS' of 2009!