realized soon into today's Manchester Town Hall why John McCain had
to endorse Mitt Romney. It never dawned on me before, but it seems
that the senator from Arizona's wife shares a blonde helmet with
Callista Gingrich. If forced to appear next to each other, one would
have to wear a yellow mop bucket.
gear was in order at Manchester Central High School, where candidate
Romney and his Pit bull McCain delivered a 2002-level dose of
fear-mongering to a gymnasium more than half full of teens who were
crapping their pants a decade ago, but for a much more sophisticated
reason than conservatives were.
first I was annoyed by the young people around me. I had fabric from
my new winter hat stuck in my hair, and they were obviously making
fun of me. Then I realized how hilarious they were – one was poking
at Rick Perry (“What a dumbass!); another mocked the 80s music that
led into the event; the girl next to me tore into Romney's jeans like
a hair band wardrobe designer.
of references that are unfit for a high school crowd in 2012, props
to Manchester Mayor Ted Gatsas for breaking out the first “Bo Knows
This” zinger that I've heard since middle school. I assume that
he's saving his “Waaaaaasssssssuuuuup” routine for the final
stretch next week – either that or trying to top Herman Cain's
sneaking past the issue of foreclosures – lamenting for less than
30 seconds that more than half of Arizona homes are under water
before segueing into safer territory – McCain promptly launched
into a two-fisted defense of military spending. All in all, there was
much less time spent on the economy than there was boasting about the
hawkish ideologies that bankrupted us.
level of craziness continued right through the Q&A period –
even though nearly every inquiry came from a hostile party. Mitt
feels extremely comfortable in New Hampshire, and easily batted off a
question on corporate personhood from an Occupy Boston activist, as
well as a request from a proud Chinese-American woman to stop
slandering her homeland (“What's the best country in the world?”
though, I got the last laugh, as I noticed that John McCain was
wearing a blue blazer with black slacks, while former New Hampshire
Governor John Sununu had on blue pants with a black coat (intentional
switcheroo – I think not!). I suppose that's why I come to
Manchester; these rich old colorblind assholes might get to send poor
people into combat and spend tax dollars on senseless wars, but at
least once every four years I get to laugh right in their ugly faces.