Although she seems to suffer from a very specific brain injury that turns every mundane object into a throbbing orifice, the intrepid Courtney Stodden retains her love for the written word. Through her prolific Twitter feed, the 17-year-old wife of 51-year-old character actor Doug Hutchison shows a masterful grasp of alliteration. Sometimes it seems as though Stodden is just like any other teenage poetess, but instead of a diary, she has the Internet; and instead of poetry, she writes aphorisms about smooshing her tits together. What’s certain is that Stodden is wise beyond her years — or at least looks it.
Who better to teach us our ABCs? To follow are Stodden’s actual tweets. No, really, she said these things on the Internet.
View the story "The ABC's of Courtney Stodden Tweets" on Storify]