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Just Admit It: Anthony Weiner is Fucking Hot, Y'all

In all the commentary about Rep Anthony Weiner's unfortunate fall from grace, there is one thing no one seems to be saying. A truth, perhaps, that no one wants to confront. Well, I think it needs to be said:

DAYYYYYYYUM. 

Anthony Weiner, you are one sexy slab of skinny Jewish nerd. I would like, as they say, to break me off a piece of that.

This is not a new sentiment for me. I have had a crush on Big Tony for a while now, going back to one of his speeches on health care. He was on TV, accusing Republicans of being in the pockets of insurance companies. His eyes flashed, his neck tendons creaked. UNFFF. I called up my ex-bf, who has a line on the movers and shakers of New York, and asked me if he could fix us up.

Forget it, he said, he's married.

I was crestfallen.

And now I find out that I could have been getting dick pics from him THIS WHOLE TIME?

GODDAMN IT. I would much, much rather look at pictures of Rep. Weiner's kosher dill than pictures of a grown man crying at a press conference because he endulged in a little innocent sexting. 

Tony? If you're reading this? It's srosenbaum@phx.com.

 

 

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