Helicopter Dad Shames Zombie March

boston zombie march on may 28

(Blog post inspired by STFU Parents)

In a blog post yesterday, titled "For Zombies, decency really is dead," Boston Business Journal Managing Editor Eric Convey recounted a tale so chilling it defies belief. (No, really -- do yourself a favor and read the whole thing.)

On Saturday, Convey and his family left their idyllic suburban home for Big Bad Boston "for a little shopping and to expose the kids to city life." He and his wife "did something that really appeals to business leaders and city officials alike - we spent a bit of money."

While they were innocently fulfilling their God-given rights as consumers, the unthinkable happened: they were attacked by ZOMBIES! Well, not really. They encountered a bunch of weirdos dressed as zombies:

"Outside Macy's in Downtown Crossing, my daughter asked about a woman who seemed to be soaked in blood. On Federal Street, I noticed, my son was looking with great concern at a similarly adorned man. In South Station, where we'd gone to grab a snack, the whole scene became too much. We left not just the station, but the city."

Understandably, even though his family retreated to the 'burbs, Convey's children were scarred for life. Well, not exactly. His daughter said the zombies were "greedy for eyes." 

What's worse, zombies are bad for business:

What's sad is that for all the work the city and merchants do to roll out the welcome mat, a few hundred people can make Boston a poor choice for a family outing.

For shame, Zombies, for shame. Disrupting captialism and harming innocent children? We thought eating brains was bad, but this takes the cake.

The commenters didn't seem to empathize with Convey's ordeal. "I'm wondering if you keep your children inside on Halloween as well. What is so difficult about telling your kids that people were dressing up 'for fun'?" writes the insensitive Cyn Don. "Give me a break," writes a rude man named Anthony Parello. "The suburbs exist for a reason."

In related news, Mayor Menino has set up a free PTSD hotline for other parents and children traumatized by Saturday's events.

>> PHOTO SLIDESHOW: Zombie March in Boston on May 28th <<

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