There are people out there that are just dying to get into the
record business...but this probably isn't exactly what most of them have in mind. For a nominal fee of just £2000 (a little over $3,000) a UK company called And Vinyly will press the ashes of your cremated body into up to 30 records, so that you and your loved ones can rock out together post-mortem.
And Vinyly is the brainchild of Jason Leach, founder of a number of record labels including House of Fix and Daftwerk.
The records will play any audio you choose, including self-made
recordings (we're willing to be that a whole lot of people are going with
Blue Oyster Cult's "Don't Fear the Reaper" though we'd probably think
outside this particular casket and have our earthly remains soldered to,
say, an EP of Miley Cyrus' "Party in the USA" because, uh, we like to
party) or, more creepily still, nothing at all. Your personal record
can contain 24 straight minutes (that's all the...er, dead air the records
can hold) of crackling silence, during which the listener can strain to
hear your voice echoing from beyond the grave while systematically
performing sacrificial rituals on the neighbor's cat Buttons. Or
something like that.But seriously, for a certain sub-set of creep-tastic
music lovers, this has got to be the best idea ever. And it's
definitely a better option than the ole toot your dead relative up your sinuses
routine favored by Keith Richards. That gift that, fun as it is, only lasts about a half an hour, give or take. Music is forever. And Vinyly
offers a number of different packages to suit their customers' needs.
If you don't want to spend an arm and a leg on your final shout-out to the
world...you can just spend a leg. Or an arm. Or a...well, that's a
personal choice. And Vinyly will make records out of any single body
part you choose. Actually, this whole idea is really starting to grow on
us...like a creeping mold. We wonder if we'd have to somehow secure the rights to Double
Rainbow before having our charred remains pressed into 30
copies of it. It'd be worth it.