Pacey-Con 2010...and other Dawson's Creek musings

In all the Comic-Con fuss, another type of 'con' may have been overlooked. Though we don't see how that's possible. Erstwhile "Dawson's Creek" star and mightiest Duck, Joshua Jackson hosted a one-man convention outside of Comic-Con's entrance this weekend: Pacey-Con 2010. True story. For anyone who was in a coma, residing in the far reaches of Eastern Europe or being held captive by a fanatical religious cult in the late 90's; that would be Pacey Witter...Capeside's resident bad boy and foil to James Van Der Beek's wet blanket of a leading man, Dawson. (Seriously, nobody liked Dawson, right?)  In what was purported to be a sketch for a soon-to-be-aired Funny Or Die video, Jackson read aloud -- through a megaphone-- excerpts from self-penned D.C. fan fiction while that song (Paual Cole's "I Don't Want to Wait", for the guy in the coma) swelled tinnily in the background from a boom box. This shit is seriously priceless.  

But Pacey's revival got us thinking. If that guy's still alive and kicking (and writing hilarious fan fiction) what's the rest of the angsty, mopey, sweater-wearing gang up to these days? And thus:

Where Are They Now: The Dawson's Creek Edition:  

Joey Potter: Well, we all know where Katie Holmes is. Chained to a radiator in the Church of Scientology's dank basement, forced to watch a never-ending reel of outtakes from Vanilla Sky, while her automatonic likeness traipses lifelessly around Hollywood as Tom Cruise's beard, of course. Seriously, will someone just let her out already? She won't tell. She won't.

Dawson Leery: The last we saw of Van Der Beek's massive jaw was in his award-winning portrayal of a small-town football star with big dreams and big problems. (Nobody wants his life.) Since then, we heard he's been spotted squatting in a van down by the Creek, where he cooks meth and writes free form poetry to Michelle Williams while crying into one of Joey's old, crop-top sweaters.  

Jen Lindley: And speaking of Michelle Williams, it seems she's actually done quite well for herself. Williams somehow made it out of Capeside relatively unscathed and she's actually a credible actress to boot. But that's not much fun. Jen Lindley, on the other hand, she's dead.  

Gail Leery: Dawson's cheating mom, unfortunately, is rumored to have developed a nasty case of syphilis as a result of her extracurricular activities and had to give up her MILF lifestyle due to health complications.  

Ms. Jacobs:  Ditto.Tamara and Gail shared a lot of men. Hey, Capeside is a small town.  

Grams: After Jen's untimely death, she became a little unhinged. Last anyone saw of old Grams, she had shed her Puritanical value system and was dancing down at a gentleman's club by the docks. Dawson stops in to see her from time to time. His van is parked out back.  

And, of course, now we know what Pacey's been up to. And dude's also scored himself a super hot actress girlfriend as well. Guess a little bit of teen idol status goes a long way. Stay tuned for the Funny or Die vid; it should be worth a click or three.

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