The Phoenix's gaming news coverage continues as another slow week plods past us, this one lethargically filled with previews, penguins and penises.
Geekologie, which has never once disappointed me, today provides us with what I deem to be one of the most exciting advances in video game technology, ever. Geekologie notes: "VIDEO IS PROBABLY NSFW DEPENDING ON HOW YOUR EMPLOYER FEELS ABOUT A GUY TREATING HIS JUNK LIKE AN ATARI JOYSTICK." Be warned.The Escapist this week features a thoughtful article about exactly why you shouldn't invite someone to your apartment to play video games as a first date, the exception to this rule being if your date is also your hand. If that's the case, refer back to the first link in today's post.
Legendary pothead Snoop Dogg has recently made a multi-level deal with MTV. In addition to his own show and a new album, an unknown selection of Snoop songs will eventually be finding their way to Rock Band 2. Gin & Juice anyone? (Honestly though, I'd rather play the cover by The Gourds).
Here's a good rant about why quick time events in games like Resident Evil 4 and God of War suck massively and are nothing but a product of lazy development. If you don't know what a quick time event is you probably don't need to read this.
With today's release of Minesweeper Flags
on Xbox Live Arcade, we can finally pay for a game that everybody who
ever bought a computer already received for free. Granted, this version
has penguins.I freaking love Katamari Damacy, and every one of its various (identical) incarnations. I have to say, though, the latest game from KD creator Keita Takahashi, Noby Noby Boy for the PS3, looks stupid as hell. What the hell do you even do in this game?Check out this footage from Comic-con '09 of some guy playing Madworld, a blissfully ultraviolent Wii game coming out this year. The game's two-tone color scheme looks fucking sweet, but will shitty waggle controls ruin the gameplay? Probably.
Joystiq offers a disheartening preview of Watchmen: The End is Nigh, a prequel to the original story. They purport that while the atmosphere rings true, the gameplay is outdated and uninspired, a flaw rarely seen in licensed games (/sarcasm). Raise you're hand if you're suprised.
Somebody translated all the text in Zelda I and II and Final Fantasy VI into Latin. Why, you ask? I seriously have no idea. Granted, Zelda's earliest entries didn't exactly rely on the narrative, but FF6 is practically a novel. This has got to be the most pointless thing ever.
Gameinformer's massive preview of God of War 3 has dripped its way onto the intrawebz via the PS3chat forums. Take a look, and don't feel guilty, because buying a print magazine is like paying $6.95 for a Google search anyway. For more GoW coverage this week, check out 1up's ongoing series of interviews and articles.
-- Mike Rougeau