The Purple One Smells

Prince, what took you so long?

Brittany Spears, Sarah Jessica Parker, Hilary Duff, Paris Hilton, Jennifer Lopez, Alan Cumming, Elizabeth Taylor and legions of other celebs, both of-the-moment and not-so-much-anymore, all have their own perfumes. Why not? Easy money, friends! We know how you like it.

But now Prince is unrolling the purple publicity carpet for his debut scent, 3121, which "launches" on 07-07-07.

Here's what it's supposed to smell like, aside from "the essence of [Prince's] eclectic style and music genius."
3121 is a white floral scent that opens with a refreshing sparkle of crisp bergamot, opulent jasmine and gardenia. Orange flower and muguet sensually intertwine with tuberose and ylang ylang, creating a subtle, mysterious blend; evolving into notes of patchouli and creamy sandalwood. Precious cedarwood and luxurious musks complement this sexy scent with an almost surreal draw that tugs at all senses for total captivation.

Mmmm! Jasmine! Gardenia! Musks! Sexy time!

Aside from 3121 ($31.21-$70), Prince is also selling himself in the form of Xquisite Perfume purse spray ($52) and Xotic Body Crème ($43). The Purple One is trying to Reign the cosmetics counter, apparently, but how's he going to do that if this shit isn't even available at Sephora, the makeup/fragrance playground of choice? Just select Macy's stores. Cringe. Not even "brilliant 3121 bottles are reminiscent of emerald cut diamonds complete with a full front panel raised 22 karat gold 3121 decoration" make up for that. Bad move, Prince Show!

Of course at this point, anything's less pathetic than Calvin Klein attempting to go "technosexual" on us with a fragrance named "CKin2U." This one is supposed to smell "fizzy and fruity," and the non-brand loyal people who wear it are supposed to be gorgeous Brooklyn hipsters who get it on against brick walls! More sexy time. Yawn.

Nope, we're not buying it.

This, though -- if we could afford it -- we'd definitely buy.

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