The relationship between filmmakers and critics has always
been more hate than love, at least from the point of view of the filmmakers.
Some directors have tried to confront their animosity directly, as did Uwe Boll
when he invited a tag team of on-line critics to go mano-a-mano with him in the
ring over their negative reviews of his films. Needless to say, he beat the
shit out of every one.
Recently, though, Quentin Tarantino made some comments that
suggest a kind of competition that would give the lowly critic at least a
fighting chance. Here's what he had to say in a recent "Culture Vulture"
posting on the "New York"
"'I respect criticism. But I know more about film than most of
the people writing about me. Not only that, I'm a better writer than most of
the people writing about me. And I can write film criticism better than most of
the people writing about me. [My goal was] to get the biggest standing ovation
of the festival, and I got it [...] Sometimes it's your time to be Elvis, and
that was my time.' - Quentin Tarantino, on the mixed reviews of Inglourious
Basterds and its reception at Cannes."
Easy for you to say - how about putting your money where your
mouth is? I think this calls for a "review-off" in the mode of the male model "walk-off"
in "Zoolander." Tarantino can pick his
challenger among any of the critics who have given thumbs down to his
"Inglorious Basterds." The actual ground rules of such a showdown I'm not sure
of. Perhaps after a screening of, say, "Transformers 3," the two challengers
can sit down at a laptop and hammer
off a 600 word review on a two hour deadline ready to post. Or maybe we could
ask David Bowie to make the arrangements like he did in Ben Stiller's movie.
Or maybe it could be something looking like this: