I haven't seen Lars Von Trier's "Antichrist"
yet, but after reading various descriptions of it, I was thinking that it
sounded just like a film that could have been made by the crazy Chilean
director, the now octogenarian Alejandro Jodorowsky, the guy who gave us "El
Topo" (1970) and "The Holy Mountain" and "Santa Sangre" (1989). Yes, it sounded
to me like a Jodorowsky film perhaps starring the bizarre Udo Kier and other out there performers like
Nick Nolte, Marilyn Manson and Asia Argento. Produced, of course, by David
And wouldn't you know it, but such a film is
in fact in the works. It's called "Kill Shot" and is described as a "metaphysical sphagetti western." Aren't
they all. Chances are it will be awful, but I have no doubt that it will the damnedest
thing you'll ever see.
Also sounding awful but without the redeeming
virtue of genuine insanity is Rian Johnson's plan to release a MP3 downloadable
commentary of his "The Brothers Bloom"
in which Adrien Brody and no doubt others in the cast and crew continually bend
your ear with their precious insights while the movie is rolling. The only
advantage to this is that it might drown the already unbearably effusive
voiceover narration of the original. If anything this is a film that desperately needs less chatter, not more.
And since we're on the subject of bad ideas,
here's the worst one of all. Former Disney mogul Michael Eisner has
commissioned a screenplay for a film based on the Bazooka Joe character
from the Topp's bubble gum comic strip. What
next? How about a film based on the words of wisdom on Tetley tea tags? Or
maybe the career statistics on the Vic Wertz baseball card? Or how about a
thriller adapted from those labels on
mattresses that say "Do not remove under penalty of law." What do I know? I never expected that they would make movies out of video games or amusement park