As I was
pondering what to go as to the many Halloween parties I haven’t been invited to,
it occurred to me -- this is how we can save the democratic system. Instead
of another one of those boring, repetetive and frankly embarassing “debates,” why
not have the candidates dress up as their favorite movie monster and let the
voters pick the scariest? I have some suggestionsto start them
wisdom says go with The Weekly World News’s Bat Boy. But the WWW has folded --
not a good sign. I’d advise a more traditional image -- Max Schreck’s
Nosferatu. Just don't forget the sunblock
Witch? The Bride of Frankenstein? How common and obvious. Leave those for such
populists as John Edwards and Joe Biden. Take on those who have been making fun
of your unsettling titter by dressing up as Conrad Veidt’s The Man Who Laughs.
3. John McCain
Face up to
those who question your stability. Don’t wait for the full moon to turn into
Lon Chaney’s Wolf Man
cadaverous face, unctuous eastern charm, shape-shifting style: Bela Lugosi’s Count
Lowly in the
polls, ignored and held in contempt, still, he craves the Ring of Power: Gollum.
6. Fred Thompson
Impersonate that terrifying former Republican president: Fred Thompson as Ulysses S. Grant in "Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee."