In which I get cranky about Weezer's "Memories" tour for no good reason

"Matt Sharp is not walking through that door, Rachel Haden is not walking through that door . . . "

So Weezer have announced the "Memories" tour in which they will perform their self-titled "blue" album and Pinkerton front-to-back. This is supposed to appease the old timers like myself who still haven't forgiven them for the wad of apathy that was/is the self-titled "green" album, not to mention the stream of inane, cynical pandering that followed on albums like Make Believe and Raditude (strangely, I don't totally hate Maladroit for reasons that aren't really worth going into here).

(An aside: "Memories" the song is probably supposed to be mocking people like me on some level, isn't it.)

Anyway, there may be people out there who are excited about this, and good for them. But there's a real problem here that is preventing me from joining them. 

Here's the thing: there's no reason for this to be a two-night affair. Have you listened to either of those two albums? "Blue" is about forty-one minutes; Pinkerton is thirty-four.  So the two combined are roughly as long as Sunday's episode of Boardwalk Empire. In other words, a totally reasonable amount of time for a band of Weezer's stature to be out on stage for. They're tacitly acknowledging that just the front-to-back portion of the show will be short by promising a "greatest hits" package each night, which is, of course, antithetical to the whole point of such a show - people would want to go to this because they hate the new stuff (oh, and by the way, the B-sides from this era happen to include one of the best Weezer songs ever, so maybe try playing those instead of "I Want You To" for the zillionth time). So instead you want people to either choose which of the two they'd rather see, or pay for two shows where they'll be forced to hear two renditions of "Pork and Beans." Great idea. 

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