Courtney Love pricks balls; the Situation just loves em' + GaGa sees dead people + Rivers represents

The boys of Jersey Shore just might have coined a new term: gaydo. Alright, that one's a work in progress, but give us time. The muscled, melanoma-chasing juiceheads (MTV sanctioned that one) recently appeared, in all their beefcake wonder, on the cover of an issue of the Village Voice. The Queer Issue. And while one might think this is one small step forward for the world, one very large step forward for South Jersey, it turns out the Situation and Co. had no idea their GTL-ed physiques were going to be featured in an issue all about the opposite of their main pursuit - namely pussy chasing. The suggestive photo of the boys (minus DJ Pauly D) was published just above a headline that reads "The Guido Ideal" - a story about "gay Jersey guidos on the down-low." And readers can draw their own conclusions there. Should make for an interesting second season. Sorry Sammy Sweetheart, it seems it's all about the Samuels now. (Guaydo, is that better? Ah, forget it.)

Courtney Love has been trying legitimately to clean up her very filthy act. She has! The Hole front-woman and bonafide wackadoo is back with a new album, a new look, and a new lease on life. Which is why it such a shame (for her, at least) that her past just keeps coming back to bite her. Love has been much-maligned for her [alleged] role in husband Kurt Cobain's untimely death, and life, and it seems that the (often self-induced) hits just keep on comin'. Apparently Love, who most recently received flack for the bizarre and entirely inappropriate public way in which she attempted to discipline her wayward daughter Frances Bean, used to stick pins in Cobain's balls. That's not a metaphor for being a real shrew of a wife, either. The rocker revealed in a recent VHI doc that she used to literally insert sharp objects into her husband's sac in order to shock him out of drug-induced slumber. And while it's entirely possible that that's what passed for foreplay in the Love-Cobain household (and some others: we're looking at you guys, Winehouse and Fielder-Civil) we have to wonder why she didn't just call for a doctor.

Weezer sold out, and sold out pretty hard, somewhere between the awesomeness that was "Only In Dreams" and the awfulness that was "Beverly Hills." Since then, the band has come out with a whole slew of publicity stunts that include a Weezer-branded Snuggie and a series of webisodes documenting their travels/travails on tour. It's not much of a surprise, then, to hear about Cuomo's latest project: an attempt to write the "unofficial theme song" for the US men's soccer team. Weezer's newest track "Represent" is a commemoration of this year's landmark match between the US and the UK. Cuomo is apparently a rabid soccer fan, and so his partnership with the US Soccer Federation is merely an expression of his fandom... as opposed to yet another strategic (and, likely ingenious) publicity maneuver.  

There's really not much more that Lady GaGa can do to shock the world. She's dressed all cah-razy, flashed her lady-parts all over stage, and refused to pick up her phone at the club. The only thing Ga could do to alarm us, at this point, is to show up somewhere in a sensible pantsuit or pair of chinos. Or so we thought. That was until we heard about her Ladyship's latest plot. To use corpses as props onstage during her "Monster Ball Tour." It seems that the pop star is quite enamored with the work of Gunther von Hagens (the scientist behind the "Body Worlds" exhibitions, which have garnered world-wide fame and a fair bit of controversy, much like GaGa herself). GaGa told press that she sees a "kindred spirit" in Von Hagens... most likely in his brilliant scientific mind. And while we can't wait to watch GaGa fondling carrion flesh onstage while singing about romances gone bad (sexy!) we're guessing this might not actually come to pass. Stay tuned. In the meantime, we're sure the zany pop tart will continue to shock and amaze by behaving inappropriately in less morbid ways. Like attending baseball games sans pants and offending Jeter (and Jerry Seinfeld) whilst groping her own lady lumps.


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