Upward Mobility Dept.: Metallica spotted in the New Yorker, Armani


In lieu of a review of Metallica's throwbackish new single, which has bitterly divided staff opinion, we'd been amusing ourselves by making up (a la the New Yorker's caption contest) snarky new song titles suggested by this photo -- an image by which we are universally horrified. Feel free to add your own in the comments, but note that the following are taken:

  • "Of Wolf and Armani"
  • "Harvester of Mandals"
  • ". . . And Shopping for All"
  • "Enter Salesman"
  • "The Shorts That Should Not Be"
  • "Sad But True"

And then, just today, Metallica made yet another surprising upmarket cameo -- in the New Yorker itself. The source? Part two of Anthony Lane's Olympic Games wrap-up, thusly (our emphasis):

The other mystery weapon in [Canadian archer Jay] Lyon’s quiver was Phil Towle, a performance coach back in the States, whose online messages had been an inspiration. “He’s also been a psychologist for Metallica,” Ryan said, as if to justify the gentleman. I had to steady myself against a passing volunteer. Metallica has a psychologist? What, exactly, is it repressing in its sylvan melodies?

What makes this exchange particularly amusing is that Anthony Lane is the New Yorker's chief film critic.

Anthony, have we got a movie for you.

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