Six retarded things you can wear to the Grammys

1. "Hi, I'm Hilary Duff. Can I take your order?"

2. Shoulder pads. Oh, wait, sorry -- that's just Fergie's shoulders. 

3. Nelly Furtado stole that swan from Bjork, then ran it though a paper shredder.

4. Bela Fleck's Flecktones later sought political asylum on Gnarls Barkley's tourbus.

5. Imogean Heap, seconds after an assassin's bullet made her hat explode.

6. James Blunt, seen here wearing Linda Perry.

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