Sorta like Mos Def, our minds were more on New Orleans than on the MTV Video Awards last week. While Mr. Def was getting himself arrested by rolling up flatbed-truck-stylee and launching a guerilla "Katrina Klap" on the proceedings, we were all caught up in the new Spike Lee joint on-demand. Bottom line, we're just getting around to catching the VMAs in re-runs. Which is basically always how we see the VMAs -- like on some Saturday late-morning over a hangover and a bowl of corn flakes. Do people actually make plans to watch this thing like it's an actual awards show or something? Normally we'd save our kibbutzing for the water cooler at the office, but this week our water cooler was replaced with a Vitamin Water fridge, so instead of chatting with the guys in finance, we'll just blog to ourselves and post some videos.
Top 10 highlights of the VMAs, hit us up if you find YouTube links ...
10. The look on Kanye West's face when Black Eyed Peas won.
9. Been so weird this summer watching Kelis try to become a diva, and now on her latest single Beyonce tries to get all Kelis. As much as we'd love to hear more shouting and less ballads from the girl, this shit just isn't working. Remember: B-Day is pronounced "bidet."
8. Christina Aguilera had a cold, and since she's a singer who improves as you peel away the technique, she actually sounded better than usual. Lots of smoke and Linda Perry on piano doesn't hurt, either.
7. Raconteurs bring up Lou Reed for VUs classic "White Light/White Heat." Lou promptly forgets the words. In a song with about eight words, total.
6. Lil' Jon: the new Exploited:
5. Sarah Silverman (intentionally?) bombs with pro-bulemia Paris Hilton routine, followed shortly therafter by pro-bulemia MTV promo ad featuring a stork that vomits next to a boom box, prompting the slogan -- we are not making this up -- "Eat. Dance. Puke":
4. Timberlake reminding the girls he can dance, Timbaland trying to remember which hook he's on. (We were praying for him to bellow "Promiscuous GIIIIIRRRRULLLL!" into the mic, but no dice. Damn.) Trust us: that Avalon show was pretty much nothing like this.
3. Diddy's white butler who looks like Mark McGrath: awesomest racial provocation on TV this year. You can only barely see dude's pink slacks in the shot below (over Diddy's left shoulder), but trust us: they were pure humiliation. (Rich black people stand up: you, too, can make your white help look just as -- if not way more -- ridiculous than white people make their black help look. Let's start this movement!) Diddy's pre-show red carpet game -- where he gave that freak John Norris the silent treatment -- was sooooo hateful. Two thumbs way up:
1. The Madonna rock-n-roll (p)re-mix/demo of "I Love New York," our least favorite song on Confessions, that played during the end credits. We went out of our minds trying to find that thing, only to discover that it's about three years old. We have no idea where you can download stuff like this.