Work that weekend: "Trapped in the Closet" singalong! DJ Tommy Lee! "Lean" wit it, (Spank) Rock wit it!

The most ridiculous weekend ever. How ridiculous?

WHAT: R. Kelly "Trapped in the Closet" sing-a-long.
WHAT?!: "Maybe you've even seen them on DVD in a room with friends. But you haven't fully experienced them until you've rapped along with R. Kelly in a theater full of hundreds of friends and a bevy of props hidden around the room. We'll screen all 12 chapters with bouncing-ball sing-a-long lyrics, a bevy of other classic R. Kelly videos (everyone ready for the Bump N’ Grind?), a special on-screen "interview" with the man himself, an amazing 10 year old kiddie remake of the first chapter of Trapped, and more! By the end of the show, Sylvester won't be the only one who'll scream out, "Oh my god, a rubber!"
OH, LORD! WHEN? HOW?: Friday, midnight (as in, late Friday night) at the Coolidge Corner Theater
OMG-O-METER: 8.9/10

WHAT: DJ Tommy Lee
WHAT?!: Yes, that Tommy Lee. The one with the huge cock and the wife-smacking problem. Playing records. On the turntable. Apparently he did this at the Winter Music Conference in Miami. "I walked past the room a few times," confides one person who was there. "Worst. Crowd. Ever. Just DISGUSTING."
OH, LORD! WHEN? HOW? Saturday, 10:30-ish, at Avalon [tix here]
OMG-O-METER: 7.8/10

WHAT: Lean: Allston's only dance night dedicated solely to the Derrty Derrrty
WHAT?!: Honeypump board co-signs purple drank, getting thowed, grillz, etc., courtesy of DJ Shiny Knuckles and DJ Lone Wolf 
OH, LORD! WHEN? HOW? Sunday at Reel Bar
OMG-O-METER: 7.1/10

WHAT: Spank Rock, Max Certified Bananas, DJ Makko
WHAT?!: Ya herd. Bodymore murderland via Illadelph hip(ster)-hop pawrty music event of the spring. Perhaps you caught them wrecking the Paradise at the M.I.A. show. Perhaps you don't want to miss this again.
OH, LORD! WHEN? HOW?: Sunday at the Middle East Upstairs
OMG-O-METER: 8.7/10

Choose as many or as few as you like. But no matter what you choose, this will probably come in handy:

WATCH: "How to Snap": Jazzy Pha's girlgroop Cherish teaches you to do the Snap dance [Windows] [Real] [QuickTime]

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