All we want for Christmas

Dear Santa,

We know it's a little early, and the department stores only started bringing out the fake pine trees last week. But OTD has been good people this year. We've brought lots of mp3s (and even concert tickets!) to the needy. Now please throw us some fucking weight . . .

1. Like some of that Fucking Awesome Kiss/Misfits mashup/knockoff gear (spotted at SimpleMission, back before dude posted the Black Dice video)

2. One of those (f)ucking (a)wesome Dipset/Ramones knockoff/mashup tshirts.

3. One of those new Cave In shirts . . . with a free cassingle?

4. Now, look, Santa, you know we wouldn't ask you to get us no porn. Let us explain what this is for a minute. A decade before the Suicide Girls, a young Memphis swell calling himself JMM -- part Warhol, part Russ Meyer, part Crumb -- started making these delicious throwback drive-in-style sexploitation art-films. With lotsa tattooed broads getting nekkid and with soundtracks by some of the greatest surf- and garage-punk bands of the time. Then he would take the girls on burlesque tours with backing by the rock bands. Hmm . . . sound familiar? Yep, it's the same business model that some internet floozies and Epitaph have cleaned up on. But we still prefer JMM's steez: the grainy 8 mm filmstock, those huge gazongas naturally Raphaelite starlets, the bad edits, the 1959 title sheets. So, so trill. Dude is still out there, shooting videos for people like the Hives and the Willowz, making crazy monster movies and theorizing about the metaphysical impact of Elvis. But what we really really really want, ol' Saint Nick, is the double-D double-DVD stag-loop collection Broad Daylight/Shine On Sweet Starlet.

WATCH: Broad Daylight trailer: not work safe! (plays in QuickTime)

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