"Heaviest Song Ever"

Published May 20 2005, 01:46 PM by webteam

This is what you get when you let the Noise Board pansies put together a "Heaviest Song Ever" mixtape. It's about 30 tons lighter than even something as trite as the MTV2 Headbangers Ball comps -- Tool? Nice art-rock band, but heavy? The fuck outta here -- and the Funkadelic/Beatles/VU inclusions are like some third-grader's crayon scrawling of Chuck Eddy's Stariway to Hell. But someone took the trouble to actually make an mp3 download mix out of it, so if for some reason you need a re-up on Entombed's Jerry's Kids cover (their James Brown cover -- well, not actually a cover, but homage: "To Ride, Shoot Straight, And Speak the Truth" -- is way heavier, by the way) then right-click away. Just in case you were wondering, the actual heaviest song ever is "Smells Like Teen Spirit." You can look it up -- in my ass.

Noise Board's Heaviest Song Ever Track List:
1. Led Zeppelin - When the Levee Breaks2. Corrupted - El Paso Inferior3. Black Sabbath - Hole in the Sky4. Velvet Underground - Sister Ray5. Soundgarden - Fresh Tendrils6. The Beatles - Helter Skelter7. Sleep - Dragonaut8. Tool - Parabola9. The Melvins - Hooch10. QOTSA - Mexicola11. Soundgarden - Rusty Cage12. DRI - Five Year Plan13. Celtic Frost - Procreation of the Wicked14. Goatsnake - What Love Remains15. Black Sabbath - Symptom of the Universe16. Funkadelic - Super Stupid17. Winter - Servant of the Warsmen18. Slayer - Angel of Death19. KYUSS - Gardenia20. Bolt Thrower - World Eater21. The Swans - Weakling22. Godflesh - Streetcleaner23. Zeke - Little Queen24. Entombed - Lost (Jerry's Kids cover)25. Naked City - Leng Tch'e26. Cathedral - Comiserating the Celebration

TONIGHT:
Edan, Doves and Mercury Rev, Deerhoof and Nedelle, and more.