VOTE NOW: The Laser Orgy 500 - the Phoenix's quest to crown the greatest video game of all time.
In our past featured battles, we've compared games from similar genres or similar games from different eras. But the wily Laser Orgy 500 cares not whether its mash-ups are rhetorically logical. Sometimes, the ol' LO500 will pick two games from completely different time periods and genres, and expect you to reasonably compare them. Thus, we give you this week's incomprehensible pair: Crazy Taxi versus No More Heroes.
When Crazy Taxi first hit arcades in 1999, the game became an instant classic and earned rave reviews, which may surprise you given the game's simplistic premise. You play as a taxi driver, and your goal is to get your clients to their requested stops on time. Seems boring, right? Not so much, because the game rewards you for doing "tricks" like dangerously swerving from lane to lane to speed your passenger's delivery. You'd get points docked for hitting other cars or running over any of the dozens of pedestrians wandering the streets sidewalks, but the controls and constant pressure to speed up your driving made this a tall order. Plus, driving like a maniac in a pretend world with no consequences has its charms, so many players preferred to be the worst taxi driver of all time rather than the best.
No More Heroes stands out as a bizarre, brilliant, flailing mess of a game. It's a satire of games, of gamers, and of itself. It dares you to try literary analysis on the dozens of cultural references of a game where you save your game on the toilet, and to ponder the commentary of Japanese and American cultural interactions of a game where you recharge your "beam-Katana" by jacking off your wii-mote. It takes all the pretension of games-as-art, and all the base reality of games as slot machines that never pay you back, then crumples both into a ball and hurls it in your face.
Both games are thoroughly silly, albeit for different reasons; Crazy Taxi is exactly what it says on the tin, whereas No More Heroes prefers to get meta. Which one wins? Decide for yourself in the Laser Orgy 500!
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