Oh Hai, Interwebs: Newgrounds enters The Room

By now, most folks have seen the modern-day cinematic tour dé force that is Tommy Wiseau's The Room. And if you haven't seen it, well, there is a gaping hole in the fabric of your being that you are currently unaware of. See the film now and you will leave the theater with a whole new take on love, life, and spoons.

But what I was introduced to today goes beyond anything I could ever imagine. It was an experience that was as proselytizing and transformative as the movie itself. This morning, I played Newgrounds' The Room Tribute.

It seems that the game-crafters at Newgrounds took it upon themselves to adapt Mr. Wiseau's expansive artistic vision to an 8-bit, RPG format. Upon hearing of this, I was skeptical. Anyone who has seen the film knows that packing The Room's raw emotion and existential gravity into a Zelda-esque role player would be a daunting task. "Could an online game accurately convey the delicate humanity of Wiseau's masterpiece?" I thought to myself.

Yes. The answer is yes.

The game is played from the perspective of Wiseau's character Johnny. Using your mouse, you guide him through his daily rituals - working at the bank, saving Denny from initial sporting drug dealers, patronizing local businesses, having sex, and generally being torn apart. But then, things start to get all out of whack. Following the film's plot, Johnny's world crumbles into a swirling torrent of betrayal and misery. Which of course means a good time for all parties involved.

But remember, if The Room has taught the human race anything, it's that no one can be trusted. So play with caution and "don't plan so much because it might not come out as you expect."

The WTF-value of the movie (dropped plot lines, inaccurate chicken impressions, disappearing characters) is not lost in this glorious adaptation, making the game a Beckettian exercise in absurdity. It's all there: the exchange of repeated lines over dragging games of football, the shopkeep and her dog, the single-minded cafe owner hell-bent on peddling her cheesecake. Fans of the movie will get it and love it. Anyone else should prepare to be hopelessly bored and confused.

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