We love the Nature Conservancy, but...

Seriously, this is ridiculously revisionist history in the service of environmentalism.

We just got an e-mail from them with five tips for a "green" holiday season.

Here's tip number 1: "Think global, eat local  - The Colonials didn’t get their meal from the freezer case at the local supermarket.  Why should you?"

This overlooks the fact that the Colonials nearly didn't get their fucking meal at all. Born town-dwellers and merchants, they couldn't hunt, farm, or fish. For heaven's sake, they were especially bad at starving, what with all their lamenting about being chosen by God and then forsaken in this to-them-barren land where thousands of natives had lived for millennia.

But just because they were dismal failures who very nearly killed themselves off entirely, why should you behave the same way? Has humankind progressed so little in the intervening four centuries that we need to go hunt our denuded forests, fish our polluted rivers, and dig our eroding earth to starve as nobly as they?

Well, that's a good point - it is "greener" that way. Just don't let anyone use any nasty chemicals to embalm you - you'll decompose faster.